Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
- Earl Wilson
This is the humor section on our website. I decided to write a humorous piece once a week. Some of the humor is from my observation of people, others could be from my personal experience and some others could be completely fictional.
In the world of business, I realize what people say is not what they mean? So I decided to take a humorous dig at some of their statements.
When someone says “We are market leaders.” He means “we have a lousy product everybody wants.”
When someone in business says “Can we meet and discuss mutually beneficial opportunities?” He means “I have all the time in the world and a pathetic social life. So let’s meet and waste each other’s time.”
When someone says “Let’s look at the long term approach.” He means “I have nothing to offer you now.”
When someone says “I am one of the top business people in the city.” He means “You’ve never heard about me and nobody’s heard about me. So you might as well hear about me from me.”
A franchisor once told a prospective franchisee “your success as a franchisee depends on how well you implement the systems we give you.” What he meant was “your success depends on you. I have nothing to do with it. In fact, I’m still trying to figure out how to succeed.”
When someone tells you “beer is too expensive.” He’s actually telling you he doesn’t make enough money.
When someone says “You’ve got a crappy product.” He means “I’d like to buy it at a big discount.”
When you tell your customer “Everybody is buying it.” You are actually telling him “you are not the only fool out there.”
Finally when someone tells you he is writing a humorous piece on business, he means “I always wanted to be a stand up comic but nobody laughs at my jokes.” Yeah, that is me! Thought I’d take a dig at myself so other people don’t get upset.
Share your favorite quotes and funny moments in the comments section below.
Vinil Ramdev is an entrepreneur, business coach and author of several ebooks. He is founder of StartUpGrowthExpert.com – An Online Resource For Entrepreneurs who want to start and grow their businesses. Vinil loves exploring the humorous side of business.
Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
